Stupid, Stupid me.

Why do i insist on trying.

\

Its really whatever now. 

I already expect this shit from you.

So whatever.

Might as well focus on making myself happy.

Because he was always right…. I DO push people away. .

but its not like i know how to stop. 

i think i was meant to have no friends. 

I always complain about how lonely and shit i am, but fuck, i did this to myself. 

#contradiction

i deserve to be happy… 

im tired of this fucking hellhole. 

Fuck you.

Seriously. Fuck you.

This is me struggling to realize what this is. Sometimes you’re just fucking unbelievable… Because sometimes i wonder if this would all be worth it. 

Right when things are supposed to be good…

im tired of crying now. its getting old.

This is a fucking joke. 

I wish that i got random surprises from him… . 

Why is it so hard trying to make this work. 

For once, i dont want to be the one. 

#MTFU.,..

i dont think this is working. 

you just dont get it… and im starting tired of trying to explain it..

I’m an angry person. Even when I’m supposed to be happy and excited and just fucking ecstatic, inside of me, I feel anger. I sit around, watching the most irrelevant movie, then suddenly I’ll feel irritated without knowing why. Every little thing ticks me off and i’m so unwilling to accept anything. 

I have so much negativity inside of me. Where did all this come from?

I try so hard to be happy. 

Why is it so hard..

Today Vicky called me & told
Me
Something Sam said ..
” we’ll they’re my best friends , what do you expect me to do .. She doesn’t control me & if she can’t accept it then why is she with me ”

I
Can’t believe he said that …